I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
