I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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