so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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