Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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