After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize