Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Randomize
