Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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