Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Randomize
