The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
this hospital has no fireball
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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