party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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