I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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