don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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