Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize