why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize