i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
