So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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