So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
