Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
