Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Randomize
