apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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