we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize