Buhtt sex?
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
