Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
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