Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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