Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
