I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
