What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
