Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
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