Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
