Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
