I wanna bring you to show and tell
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
