The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
