This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Everclear isn't food dammit
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
