If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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