This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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