you lied. pity sex is amazing.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
