I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Randomize
