Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Randomize