He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
should my penis look like a turkey
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
