Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
