I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize