...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
