I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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