Are we in a gay sports bar?
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
