someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
