Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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