i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
