It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
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