They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
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