hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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