I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize