Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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