I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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