and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
