Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Randomize
