You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
