Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
It's shark week go big or go home
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