i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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