you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Randomize
