arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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