I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
