I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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