I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
i now understand why vodka
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
