I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Randomize